The "Seesaw" Effect

In the midst of the playground we call love, we often find ourselves falling off the balance beam. We as females want a man that can rock steady on both ends of the seesaw. On one end we want a smart, adorable, overly romantic Steve Urkel. On the other we want the smooth, handsome, take charge characteristics of Stefan. Between men and women we have to find a common ground that levels the playing field. After a snow day full of girl talk and man bashing I have developed a stronger insight. As a female, I often find myself desiring attention and craving to be spoiled. Dreaming of the day when I can marry the man who will provide for his family and cater to my needs, i.e. feed me with a silver spoon with the world on a silver platter. However, I find that in relationships most girls can’t stand it when a man is too affectionate, or incredibly smothering. We want a man that is strong, and powerful, not soft and sensitive. We even sometimes cringe at the thought of romance! Like when the guy you have been seeing surprises you with flowers and candy in the most unusual setting. Or when you two are cuddling up close and he whispers a sweet song in your ear; you suppress the giggles, and vow that you will never mention this one to the girls for fear that they will never let you live it down. When you’re conjuring up the perfect man in your head, these little gestures are definitely a part of the package, so why is it so crazy once he finally comes to life? I hate to admit it, but I’m just as guilty. I often thought that I wanted a man with a sensitive side to match mine, and the ability to hold a conversation with me. Now that I have found my ideal match, I often take him for granted. When I’m feeling lonely, I want him to shower me with praises and speak in the softest tones; on the other hand, when my independence kicks in I want him to be more aggressive and stop worrying so much about me. Now I see why he thinks I’m crazy! We constantly yo-yo these guys up and down without even understanding what we want ourselves. It’s easy to fall for the guy who breaks your heart a thousand times, because you know what you are getting yourself into. But when it comes to the real deal, we worry that it’s all too good to be true. I wish I could say that I have come up with some full-proof plan that will give us the best of both worlds and more, but I don’t. The only way to even things out is to work like a team..sometimes you just have to take the vacant end of the seesaw to keep yourselves off the ground. When a man loves a woman, he strays away from that macho talking pit bull, and embraces his inner puppy dog. But don’t worry..you’re sure to find him barking and clawing up the floors every now and then.