Dear Pinky,
I have been dealing with some issues surrounding my relationship. To start with, my boyfriend has been very unavailable. He sleeps in and works late, throwing off the time we have to communicate. It bothers me that he can make time for the things he feels are important; such as clubbing, video games, and basketball at the gym. At first I thought I was just asking for too much from him, seeking too much attention, but isn’t it my right to need his affection? To elevate my issues, I am now beginning to grow attracted to a guy I just started working with. After his begging, I finally agreed to go with him to lunch. We talked and laughed, and he was the perfect gentlemen. He even pulled out my chair! It seemed innocent, but I find myself thinking about him constantly. I don’t want to leave my man for this guy, but somehow, the thought of being catered to, and showered with the attention I am being deprived makes the grass look a lot greener on the other side. What should I do?
Pink Promise says:
Dear “Torn in between the two”,
We as woman do need attention, as the saying goes “what one won’t do another will”. But, when you step out of your relationship knowing that you are unhappy with certain aspects about your relationship and your partner, therein lies another issue you’re going to have to deal with. It is one thing to be unhappy and still do everything in your power to be a good girlfriend. In this case, if the relationship does end, you will be able to say to yourself, “I as a woman did everything in my power to make the relationship work and to keep it going.” The date with the man was not as innocent as you think, more than likely you knew that he may have wanted more than friendship. You were curious so you went on the date with him, and now you’re curiosity allowed something you thought was innocent to turn into something that will either ruin your relationship or make it stronger. You have to weigh the pros and cons of your relationship and it seems like the problem you’re having is “fixable”. Communication is best; tell him the way you are feeling without sounding like the stereotypical nagging girlfriend. Tell him exactly how you feel, its all about “tact”, talk to him when you guys are just chilling. Another way is to “fight fire with fire”, you find some new hobbies of your own, that don’t involve another man. If he genuinely cares about spending time with you he will more than likely say something about you not being around as often, and when this happens you can tell him exactly how you feel. Make sure you have some solutions that you think will help the problem, because there is no point in complaining if you don’t have any solutions.
P.S Pinky Promise's "everything is o.k in the end, if it's not o.k then it's not the end".
I have been dealing with some issues surrounding my relationship. To start with, my boyfriend has been very unavailable. He sleeps in and works late, throwing off the time we have to communicate. It bothers me that he can make time for the things he feels are important; such as clubbing, video games, and basketball at the gym. At first I thought I was just asking for too much from him, seeking too much attention, but isn’t it my right to need his affection? To elevate my issues, I am now beginning to grow attracted to a guy I just started working with. After his begging, I finally agreed to go with him to lunch. We talked and laughed, and he was the perfect gentlemen. He even pulled out my chair! It seemed innocent, but I find myself thinking about him constantly. I don’t want to leave my man for this guy, but somehow, the thought of being catered to, and showered with the attention I am being deprived makes the grass look a lot greener on the other side. What should I do?
Pink Promise says:
Dear “Torn in between the two”,
We as woman do need attention, as the saying goes “what one won’t do another will”. But, when you step out of your relationship knowing that you are unhappy with certain aspects about your relationship and your partner, therein lies another issue you’re going to have to deal with. It is one thing to be unhappy and still do everything in your power to be a good girlfriend. In this case, if the relationship does end, you will be able to say to yourself, “I as a woman did everything in my power to make the relationship work and to keep it going.” The date with the man was not as innocent as you think, more than likely you knew that he may have wanted more than friendship. You were curious so you went on the date with him, and now you’re curiosity allowed something you thought was innocent to turn into something that will either ruin your relationship or make it stronger. You have to weigh the pros and cons of your relationship and it seems like the problem you’re having is “fixable”. Communication is best; tell him the way you are feeling without sounding like the stereotypical nagging girlfriend. Tell him exactly how you feel, its all about “tact”, talk to him when you guys are just chilling. Another way is to “fight fire with fire”, you find some new hobbies of your own, that don’t involve another man. If he genuinely cares about spending time with you he will more than likely say something about you not being around as often, and when this happens you can tell him exactly how you feel. Make sure you have some solutions that you think will help the problem, because there is no point in complaining if you don’t have any solutions.
P.S Pinky Promise's "everything is o.k in the end, if it's not o.k then it's not the end".
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